ash petals
by tears of emerald
Summary: angsty oneshots of my favorite couples, from the Male's POV. There will be one chapter for each boy, except masaya. Sweet, fluffy, and sad.
1. sweet strawberry

okay. Sorry for those of you who thought I might have quit writing. I haven't been terribly inspired lately. I think I'm still recovering from '_Mist Haunt'_. Either way, I apologize if this sucks. It's sorta just some random drabble.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another ordinary day at Cafe mew mew, with everyone running around like chickens with their heads cut off. But I can only see one, and that's you, my precious strawberry. I know you don't see me standing here, in the doorframe of the hallway that leads to the kitchen. You're working extra hard, since you're leaving early to go see _him._ My precious strawberry, what do you see in him? He is simply a man, and you could find any other one. I am not saying I am special, or that I am above him, but why the one who nearly killed us all?

You say it was Deep Blue, but I wonder, was it? If so, is Deep Blue still there? Or was it his repressed darkness; his inner rage? Why do you dote on him so?

In another life, would we be together? Or would God mock me even there, holding above my head what I want but cannot reach? You, Cherished Ichigo. But you see me as the one who ruined your life by cursing you to be a mew. ah, baka neko, I love it when you blush. Or even when you are irritated, that look on your face. I love you, My endearing beloved.

The other girls are pretty, but nothing compared to you, my baka strawberry. You are truly beautiful. And I wish more than anything, that I even stood a chance with you. But your heart was stolen before you even saw me. Before I even saw _You_, my angel. I loved you when I first saw you. My 'arrogance' is just the only way to hide my love. I don't need your pity, or anyone else's. I know you don't love me, and I don't want to hurt anyone by confessing my passionate love. I need no pity; a smile from you to me can cure me of all illness.

My baka, you are the one I love. The other girls pretend they cannot see this, but they can. I know that they feel sorry for me, loving someone who does not return my affections and never will. But still, I will love you till the end of time. every time I do something nice for you, a dull ache fills my heart. I know you see me as nothing more than a conceited boss; and unlovable brat. In another life, could we be lovers?

I love it when you laugh, Ichigo. You have the most beautiful of all laughs. You are so lighthearted and carefree, I wish I could join you in clouds of happiness, but I am weighed down by the fact that no doubt _he_ is there. I watch you from this doorframe, and not a woman in this cafe is more beautiful, or more caring, than you. I know if I told you I love you, you would feel obliged to pretend to love me back. That is why my love must always remain hidden.

Baka strawberry, it pains me when you are sad. I hate that boy for all he has put you through. does he know how lucky he is? Does he know what I would forsake for you? For just one real kiss from my strawberry angel? Anything. I would give up anything and everything for you, my beloved. I love you, Ichigo.

Too bad you'll never love me back

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well, it is finished. Guess who the boy is? Okay, so it's obvious. But incase your still wondering, it was shirogane. I'm surprised by the angst in this story. oh well. See you later. REVIEW!


	2. dancer

hey! I would like to thank all the reviewers for supporting this collection of drabble-y oneshots. This chapter also has mystery characters! This is the style someone else introduced me to. I thank them. even if this is slightly like another work, I came up with the idea on my own.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You raise your left foot, and spin perfectly on the smooth floor of your dance studio. You don't know I'm here. You know, my Birdie, that we are more alike than you would like to admit. I saw that. remember that failed attack? The eel, and the lightning? Do you remember how the eel accidentally set a fire? How I fainted from exertion, and fell behind the bush? Fighting Ichigo always does that to me.

I lay there, and death didn't seem so bad. Ichigo never could love me; my hope was gone, melted before the flames. They seemed to lick away at my very soul, Birdie. And then I saw you. The fire was all around you. Your comrades were fighting, but for a moment, you had peace among the chaos. I never realized how beautiful you were. I remember the expression on your face. Pain. Pain I had seen so many times, looking into the mirror and dreaming about Ichigo. Suddenly, you stood on your toes and pirouetted. The sparks and ash seemed to dance with you, in your radiant beauty.

In a way, you saved me. You turned around and saw me there. I remember it clearly. You could have destroyed me, but you didn't. I like to think you did it out of care for me, but I know I'm only dreaming when I recall how you turned and jogged towards your friends. You could have killed me, but you spared me. You took something with you, though. My heart.

I know you don't love me. You consider me a disgusting pervert, and you look down on me. But, Birdy, I love you. Ichigo forsook me to the flames, and I fell into a world void of anything but pain. But I saw pain on your face as well. You aren't happy. the fame, the fans, even being a mew, is all hollow and meaningless. I know what you feel. I spent so much time focusing on Ichigo, I never saw your inner turmoil. I know we can never be, but looking at you, I like to think you are dancing for me.

even though you will never care for me, Love, I will always have feelings for you. No matter how many times you turn away, your soul is shattered, like mine.

In another time, were we friends? Maybe even lovers? I can think of no other way I could feel so connected to you. You are beautiful, beloved. I never saw how lustrous your blue hair shone, how lovely your eyes gleamed. But you will never notice a foolish alien such as me. Just like Ichigo. But you don't hurt me deliberately, and that makes all the difference. The fact is, we both aren't happy. That is what makes us the same. Our pain is the same. we are both rejected. Neither of us stand a chance against this turmoil that is life, my sweet.

Sometimes, I like to imagine we are of the same race, and in love. I can play that game of warped reality for hours, as long as I see your soft smile, etched into your face. I see you every time I dream, Birdie, and you sooth the worst of my nightmares. I loved you, ever since that day. My master will not allow for anything more between us than a passing glance. I resent him for that. But I cannot leave my master's side; because I have nowhere left to go to. Your arms can bear only rejection for me.

But I'll always love you, my Minto, even though you can't see me.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ah, so sad! Okay, tell me what you think. And the boy is a perverted alien. That's all I'm saying.


	3. chimera shards

Okay, this chapter is another angsty oneshot about another mystery pair! Yipee! Mystery! well, okay, maybe it's not that great, but still, got to love my enthusiasm.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hover above the earth, watching you fight. You jump in the air, and call out your attack. In a second, shards of the latest chimera fall softly onto my skin. You giggle. I don't protest. I cannot. I am too taken by your beauty, Darling. Another chimera nearly attacks you, but you dodge with grace and agility and hit it with your ring.

I know you don't know why I am so quiet. Never would you guess it's because I love you, and I wish I could be by your side forever. But we cannot even be 'friends,' even though you want to. You don't understand that. But I cannot change the facts, sweetheart, and the facts remain; we'll never be. We cannot be friends; we cannot be lovers. We never stood a chance. Life is all sunshine to you, and for that, at least, I feel grateful. You'll never have to feel this pain I do. The pain of a love unreciprocated.

I expected you to be mean. our master told us nothing but your race's flaws. But anyone who could want to be friends with someone sent to kill them can't be a bad person. I always act like a brat because you must never know I love you. Something about you... makes me love you more each time I see you. I wish I could be blind, so I wouldn't be hurt anymore. You don't mean to hurt me. Your naivety to love and hate protects you. I wish I had that protection. You don't even know how many long words I know. Mostly from Pai.

It isn't your fault my heart aches so, Monkey girl. It isn't your fault all you see is a chestnut haired alien that you are 'friends' with. It's mine. For falling in love, and for leading you on. The truth is, we can't love each other. I know you don't love me, but I also know this: we could be friends. But do you know the punishment? I would give it all up for you, monkey girl. But I can't ask for you to do the same for someone you don't love. I just can't. So I sit here and wait for this battle to be over, and for us to lose, and for you to call out, as always, "See you later, Tar-Tar!" The fight isn't over till you say those words. I love those words. Love them, and resent them. Because every time I see you, I am reminded that there is no hope for 'us.' There never was hope for 'us.' There never will be hope for 'us.'

This battle is as close as we will ever be, because there is only so much enemies can know about each other. I know too much about you. Your favorite candy, your favorite song, your job, your tricks, and that one fact that fills me with misery. The fact that you don't love me. It haunts me at night, and taunts me in my dreams. But you sleep peacefully. At least I have some blessings. I wouldn't take your peace away from you by telling the truth. Because telling the truth means sacrificing what little I have to run to someone who doesn't love me. I'm a fool. A fool for believing in miracles, a fool for believing in dreams. Always the fool. But I can seriously say this: I love you, monkey girl.

You're the only one who ever shared with me. And the only one who ever cared about what happens to me. No one else does. No one else ever will. You're the only one, and I cannot even be near you. That alone is enough to kill me. I see why they call it 'heartbreak.' my heart feels like it has shattered, and I can't feel happy about each meager victory against you humans. I don't even care that you're blasting away at the 15 chimera animas I made. Break them all, monkey girl. Shatter them, and let the shards settle onto me to hide the tears.

I love you, monkey girl, even though we can never be.


	4. silent

sorry this is so late! My computer went postal. I even had it written out, but it was deleted! This is done by request. The person who requested this will recognize this immediately!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I watch the swinging doors swing shut behind you, Dear. As you leave, the familiar feeling of emptiness fills me to the brim. You are the only one who treats me like someone, something, with emotions other than this smile on my face. I'm not just a chef/scientist, I'm a human being. But there is something, Sweetheart, that even you don't see. I love you. I truly do.

Lone wolf. It suits you. You enjoy being alone. I am always alone. Maybe not physically, but spiritually. If only we could be together, and less alone. But you do not love me; I will not dilute myself like that. I can't say those words, those accursed words! "I love you." Because I have something in common with Ryou. I cannot take the pity. I can see you, being angry, or sad, over my confession. I can see you, pitying me. Feeling sorry for me. Alienating me with permanence from your presence.

You are the only person near me, my sweet wolf. Because we are both alone in spirit, but physically near. This smile is always on my face, but I can't seem to ever get near enough to people to truly open up. I was always that way. but so are you. We both hide behind a mask, but we cannot even show our faces to each other.

Can you not see them? "Oh, poor man," they would moan, after I said those words. But it would be so shallow; so meaningless. They don't mean it, Dearest. They say that, but gossip about me like I am just some poor lost one, who will never find Redemption from this darkness. But they are in a darkness so deep, they are blind. I love you, and dreams of you keep me tied to reality. Because nothing else can. I slave over a hot stove, my lavender wolf, but my mind is not there. I am so numb, and all I can feel is this love for you.

But I can't say those words, Love. Because saying it would make it too final. My last sanity thrown to the wind. If I thought I stood a chance with you, I would give anything. Actually, I would give anything now. Because I love you, and only you. Even though I am hopeless, you can still see my face, more than anyone else. But to the rest of them, I am just happy. They take that for granted. But I have no real friends. I know the girls consider me a friend, but they don't know me.

I feel so disconnected. No, I am so disconnected. I can't wear a watch, because I hate being aware if wasted seconds passing. But if I am with you, no second is wasted. Because I can see more of you than anyone else, and you can see more of me than anyone else. You are the only who knows what it is like to feel hollow. It hurts. Because I am afraid to try. I cannot be hurt again. So many people have hurt me. The one I used to love, my parents, my 'friends.' My past is full of failure and Pain. Pain I wish I could be free of. But it isn't as simple as screaming silently for help.

I need to speak, but I can't bear your rejection. No matter how sympathetic, it will always hurt me. So I just sit over this hot stove, preparing more food.

I love you, even though I cannot speak.


	5. emerald angel

hi. This chapter is also a request. Thank heavens for requests!

DO YOU WANT A SEQUEL? I'll do it from the female's POV.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You look so peaceful, sleeping near the window like that. If you were awake, you would see me hovering outside the window. What would you say to that?

I knew coming here would soothe me. seeing you always makes me feel better. Kish says It's normal to feel best when you're around the person you love. I love you, my emerald porpoise. But there is nothing I can do. I can't be with you. It's not a matter of pride; or greed. I'd give everything to be with you. Or at least near you, my darling. It's alright that you don't love me. No one does; but I will always love you. You are my first, and my last. I could love no other. You have my heart, and that Shirogane has yours. If only. If only.

But I don't even hope. You don't see why I don't leave my master. I cannot. It is not possible. I know you do not understand that. But that's good. You don't have to be a slave. I can't leave. He won't let me. He bring me back. Always. It's not as easy as just leaving.

You stir slightly, and I smile sadly at your angelic face. You don't even know how I love you. But I can't tell you. It would hurt beyond all pain to hear you apologize and admit that you don't love me. That would hurt more than knowing, but refusing to acknowledge, that I love you. But in this darkness, this shroud of moonlight, I can say these words to myself. I love you, dearest angel. So much it's like an ache in my chest. now I see why Kish acts like such a fool! I'd do the same, if it would earn anything but a fearful look from you. Anything for you, love. Anything at all. The moon, the sea, nothing is too good for you.

If the earth were mine, I'd give it to you. all the riches, the fame, wouldn't mean a thing. Even if you don't love me, there isn't anything I wouldn't give to you or do for you. That's how much I love you. Even if you hate me so much you'd like to see me dead, I'd go to the bad place and back for you. I wouldn't even ask anything of you, if you just smiled at me. The smile of kindness and mercy. The smile of an angel.

the one you love gives you only pain. But I would give you everything. Not that I have much, but whatever you wanted, I would find a way. I know you won't ever love me, and that hurts. But as long as you are happy, my love, then it's okay. Because your smile, even if you aren't smiling at me, is enough.

Even though there can't ever be a 'we', I won't ever love another. I will never take my heart back from you, my beloved. Never. At least I can always dream of you. That's why I can't confess, dear. because confessing would ruin even those meager dreams. Such a blessed escape, they are.

If only your dreams were about me. I don't have to be told they aren't. I am not a fool. I know you consider me someone you should try to help, out of mercy and pity. I appreciate even that, my eternally beloved.

Sometimes, when I fall asleep, I see you, swimming like a mermaid through the water, your emerald tail sparkling in the sun. I remember the first day we met. You wanted to save him. You didn't give me another glance as you swam past. It was always that way. Now that I look back, I remember that as an omen, predicting what would always happen. First impressions are important, love. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And don't let anyone tell you that I hate you. I don't. as much as it hurts, I love you. Always you; only you.

I love you, even though you love another one.


End file.
